just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize