this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The Olympian is in my bed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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