she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
