He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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