Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
