What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he puts the penis in happiness.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
