I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
