so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
