i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
