i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
