Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The uberlube is also flammable
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
