Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
