is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
