Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Randomize
