this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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