I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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