Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
