Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
