True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
