so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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