At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
