he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
