He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
