physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
