she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
