WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
