Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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