my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
