your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just pee around me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
