I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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