why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
