i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
