And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
