yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ketchup is God's man juice
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
