mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
