Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
