Sry I called you an 8
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
