it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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