let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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