i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
