everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
