Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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