Pass out mid-funnel last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
