Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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