Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
