so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
