whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
