It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
