It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
