Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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