exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
