all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize