SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
