So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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