I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
our cab driver is having phone sex.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
