Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
