I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
