If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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