i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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