Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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