Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize