I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
