I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
